Will Grinstead Published 8:00 a.m. ET July 17, 2019
CONNECTCOMMENTEMAILMORE
What are some common misconceptions that people have about self-care?
Some people think that self-care is a weakness or that it means you are lazy. Neither of those things is true. Setting aside time to do things that nourish us, things that help us to feel refueled at a deep level, is an absolutely essential part of life. In truth, having a regular self-care routine or plan that you follow can help you to be more productive in your working hours because you’re working from this “flow” feeling.
When you practice good self-care, you are reminded that what you do has value and meaning and that you matter to the world for reasons far greater than how many emails you responded to or whether you got the kids to their practices and appointments on time.
A friend was talking about their big purchase recently, calling it “self-care.” Is self-care just about buying things?
No. Indulging by buying things, food, or experiences won’t refill your tanks in any lasting way. “Treat yo’ self” does not equal caring for yourself. It doesn’t matter whether the purchase is something big or small; it’s about what you’re asking that thing, that inanimate object, to do for you. You are a living, breathing human being. You don’t need a possession to be important or to feel valuable, and self-care helps us to remember that more often. Self-care is about feeding your soul, not your appetite.
►MORE ASK THE EXPERT: The in(nie)s and out(ie)s of cord blood
How would you describe self-care?
Our body, mind, and relationships are intertwined in some complicated ways. If you imagine a daisy with me for a moment — all of the petals of the flower are connected to the center. They’re not much without each other or if they’re disconnected from the stem, but when all the petals are vibrant, you can’t help but marvel at this beautiful creation in front of you. Good self-care is like that. We need to have a variety of practices and activities that address the emotional, relational, spiritual, and physical parts of ourselves — connected to each other and to the center. It takes practice, but it’s definitely worth it.
How should I get started?
Have fun. Find something frivolous that makes you laugh. Dreamed of wheel-throwing pottery? Great! Feel like going for a run would clear your mind? Perfect! Start with something small. Listen with a discerning ear to what your body is asking for. Remember, this is about making small improvements that you can stick to and build on over time. Finding balance is the key.
What is your number one recommendation to someone who feels the need for better self-care?
“Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love,” as Brené Brown, the shame researcher and social work scholar says. When we can talk tenderly to ourselves, giving ourselves the same grace that we would give to our children, to our students, to our patients, then we can start to believe: “I’m worth investing my own time into.” When you start from the mindset of a grounded belief that you have worth, purpose, and meaning, then the particulars about how, when, and what seem to all fall into place. Self-care is a practice, not an achievement.
Rev. Will Grinstead, MDiv, ThM, is a staff chaplain at IU Health Ball Memorial Hospital. For more information call 765-747-3111 or visit iuhealth.org.
CONNECTCOMMENTEMAILMORE
Read or Share this story: https://www.thestarpress.com/story/life/wellness/2019/07/17/ask-expert-take-time-practice-self-care/1733396001/