1. Feeding & Nutrition

Here’s how to keep diet culture off your family table.


Image
CreditGiacomo Bagnara

In 30 years from now, when our children look back and tally all of our parental missteps, I predict that feeding our children “kid-friendly” protein bars will make a lot of lists. Many of these packaged snacks are flavored, as a friend recently put it, “like a stale Yankee Candle,” and come in brightly colored wrappers listing their non-GMO ingredients and high protein content. One popular brand touts: “No bad stuff.”

“Labeling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ isn’t healthy eating, it’s diet culture,” said Emily Fonnesbeck, R.D., a dietitian and nutrition therapist in private practice in Logan, Utah. “This kind of marketing encourages an all-or-nothing mentality around food and the underlying tone of superiority plays off our insecurities that we’re not feeding our kids the ‘right’ way.”

[The truth about food pouches.]

It’s not just aggressively “clean” snack bars. It’s also Instagram feeds full of perfectly styled #eattherainbow bento boxes with tips on how to get your kids to eat raw red cabbage and purple cauliflower. It’s Weight Watchers’ recent launch of a “health app for kids,” as I’ve reported previously. And it’s the press release sitting in my inbox right now for a new brand of Paleo baby food, which I fervently hope represents the apex of this madness but is likely just the beginning.

“I see diet culture manifesting in kid food in so many ways,” said Christy Harrison, M.P.H., R.D., a dietitian and author of “Anti-Diet.” “Some of it involves direct marketing of dieting behaviors to children. But there’s also a lot that just makes parents feel bad about giving their kids sugar, ‘processed’ foods or anything fun.” And since it’s January, the month when all of our anxieties about weight and food tend to peak, it’s time to talk about why you don’t want to invite what Harrison calls the “diet mindset” to your family dinner table.

First, let’s establish that nutrition and diet culture are two different animals. Most parents want our kids to eat vegetables, for example. But it’s worth examining why: Chances are, you may be less concerned about preventing scurvy than you are about your child’s current or future body size, Fonnesbeck said. “There’s eating for health and nourishment, and then there is eating for weight ‘control.’ They are actually not one and the same.” And eating for weight control poses specific risks for kids: Research shows that dieting now can increase your child’s risk for developing an anorexia, bulimia or another eating disorder later on, which is why, in 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics published a report advising parents and pediatricians to focus on creating a healthy lifestyle rather than weight and weight loss with children.

[What to do if you’re worried about your child’s weight.]

This is not to say you can’t help children learn to love vegetables or should stop encouraging them to be physically active. But in most cases, we don’t need to do much more than offer a variety of healthy foods on a regular meal schedule and then let kids decide for themselves how much to eat, as I explored last month. But parents need to remove the diet and weight loss piece of the equation — because kids will pick up on that pressure even if it’s largely unspoken. “When kids see diet culture messaging and absorb their parents’ worries about body size, it can instill a sense of guilt and fear around food that may impact their relationship with eating for years or even decades to come,” Harrison said.

This is also true, by the way, if you’re laid back about your kids’ food choices but are meanwhile launching yourself onto a January cleanse, detox, diet or lifestyle plan. A 2018 survey of 507 adults found that 64 percent recalled one or both of their parents dieting during their childhood; and those participants were more likely to recall parental criticism of their own weight and eating behaviors than adults who didn’t grow up with dieting parents. A 2016 study that followed 181 mother-daughter pairs for six years found that the girls with mothers on diets were significantly more likely to start dieting themselves before age 11. The study noted that dieting is generally associated with an increased likelihood of overeating, greater weight gain and chronic health problems.

“Parents do need to know that kids are likely to notice if you’re not eating or are doing weird things with food,” Harrison said. “That sends a message that you think food is bad, or you don’t like your body — and to a child’s brain it can seem like ‘that’s what it means to be a grown-up.’” At the same time, Harrison emphasized that parents shouldn’t feel shame for bringing these messages home; in our current culture it’s virtually unavoidable. “But it can be motivating to realize that healing your own relationship with food and your body is going to be helpful for your children as well.”

Instead of opting for yet another diet this year, Fonnesbeck encouraged parents to ask, “What can I do to make a positive impact on my and my family’s health and well-being without the risk of a diet?” She suggested setting small but achievable goals like cooking more at home, eating breakfast regularly or spending more time outside. You might also resolve to change the way you talk about food and bodies with your kids to help them listen to their bodies more. Try, “What is your tummy telling you?” in place of “How can you still be hungry?!” And, “You’ll know how much your body wants and needs” is a better way to help kids regulate their own treat intake than “You’ve had enough cookies today.”

[Is mealtime miserable? Try this.]

You could also resolve to stop buying foods and other products that use diet-based marketing. But keep in mind that by the time your child is in preschool — and certainly once she learns to read — she’s likely to start bringing diet culture messages of her own home from the world. You don’t need to ban every protein bar or other diet culture pantry staple, but you can turn them into teaching opportunities and encourage your kids to think critically about the messages they see.

Talk about how high-protein snacks and chocolate chip cookies are morally equivalent, because “food is just food,” as Fonnesbeck put it. “Remind them that it’s up to them to decide if they want it or not.” You can also point out negative food and body talk in their books or TV shows — like when Peppa Pig teases Daddy Pig for his big tummy — and ask how they’d rewrite it. “Diet culture is everywhere, so it’s important to help our children recognize it from a young age,” Fonnesbeck said. “Educate them on what it is and call it out when you see it.”


Virginia Sole-Smith is a journalist, author of “The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image and Guilt in America” and co-host of the Comfort Food Podcast.



Follow NYT Parenting on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Sign up for our newsletter.

Related topics:


Do ‘Baby-Friendly’ Hospitals Work for All Moms?

Ditching formula, nurseries and pacifiers is supposed to help encourage breastfeeding, but the research is mixed on whether the ‘Baby-Friendly’ approach is best.

Is Mealtime Miserable? Try This.

‘Division of responsibility in feeding’ is an approach that may help picky eaters and food-fixated kids alike. What it won’t do: make anyone finish their broccoli.

Don’t Let Food Poisoning Ruin Your Holiday

Recent outbreaks from flour and more are good reasons to keep food safety practices at the top of mind this season.